Royworld are the worst band ever (ish)

Who the fuck are Royworld?

I was unlucky enough to catch some of their tripe on BBC's Popworld-humping music show "Sound", a show which again manages to achieve the highly difficult task of taking something from Channel 4 and making it complete and utter rubbish (we're looking at you, Graham Norton).

In their section, the four members of, possibly the worst-named band ever, "went back to their roots" at Goldsmith's College (which the show was at pains to point out, has alumni including Blur's Alex James and Graham Coxon) and showing us, the adventurous viewer, exactly where they "used to rehearse", and here is where "we used to record our stuff", while dressed in standard issue Serious Indie-pop winter trenchcoats and a swapshop of designer stubble and £50 haircuts.

Besides the terrible name and their overly-manicured record label arrival, their sound is pretty shocking too. Take equal parts of every Hoosier, Wombat and member of Scouting For Girls, teach them some songs Athlete turned down, and then proceed to declare it "epic" and "massive".

But never original.

They are coming to a daytime radio show and minor headlining role at a fringe festival near you.

If you dare:
http://www.myspace.com/royworldtheband

ALBUM REVIEW: Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles

They've been around a little bit, the electronic duo of Ethan Kath and Alice Glass, and have split opinions for almost as long.

Tied inexplicably to the "new-rave scene", these guys are way more rave than the noisy art-punk of Klaxons et al, complete with a DIY punk ethic and the drugged-up pretention of a band who think they are better than everyone else.

Recent heavy promotion, including a small cameo part on Skins and an NME tour headliner slot means they are certainly being pushed for the big time. But make no mistake, this is Ethan's band.

Take "Alice Practice", which is the song they played on Skins and arguably their biggest track to date. The story goes that 18 year old vocalist was testing the mic and recording equipment by shouting obscurely worded lyrics and had no idea she was being recorded. Ethan then fitted a backing track around et voila, a song is born. In a recent interview in respected and hate-filled paper The Stool Pigeon showed that the relationship between Alice and the significantly older Ethan is a strange combination of Woody Allen and his "muses" and a twisted familial relationship of older brother and fightened younger sister.

Alice is not allowed to talk, and presumably is allowed little creative control over this album, which incidentally is the sound made by a dying 90s video arcade as the last forlorn teenager runs out of pound coins for the Street Fighter machine, and promptly kicks the shit out of it. Even the band is named after an old Atari game (that Wikipedia will lead you too should you search for "Crystal Castles").

Unsurprisingly, the album also contains "chipped" remixes of some songs, but under different names. "Crimewave" is creditted as "Crystal Castles vs. Health", "Vanished" samples Van She and opening track "Untrust Us" heavily uses old DFA1979 track "Dead Womb" (itself based on some sampling).

However the standout track for em, alongside a few slightly weaker ones, is former Kitsune maison resident "Knights", featuring Alice's despairing vocals, for once not distorted as much as on the rest of the album, where they are altered to the point that Ethan truly does exercise total control over the album.

What shocked me the most about this post-apocalyptic Arcade Fire (event, not band) is how fun it is. I can't listen to the retro stylings of "1991" without being reminded of the similar nostalgia-synth of Chromeo and just grinning. "XXZXCUZZ Me" (a remix of one of their own tracks) is literally the sound of a SNES being born, not from a factory, but screaming from the pregnant cartridge slot of another Super Nintendo.

It's not all great, and tracks like "Love and Caring" are an aural air strike of beeps and bips. But there's more than enough good stuff here to make up for it.

I expected pretention, and there is a fair heap of that, but on the whole what struck me is that past the polished, even hostile exterior of the band, and many of the tracks, Ethan and Alice are having a massive laugh with what they are doing.

8/10

Crystal Castles is out in the UK on the 28th April

65Daysofstatic @ Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth 16/04/2008

Tonight's openers PILGRIMFATHERS are one of those uncomfortable "neo-prog" bands where the only "progressive" aspects are the heavily distorted vocals and the increasingly unkempt hairiness of the members as you moved from drummer through to vocalist. i.e. not very good.

http://www.myspace.com/thepilgrimfathers

GAY FOR JOHNNY DEPP are a NY hardcore band who kick the gig screaming into life with their aggressively homoerotic odes to their thespianic hero. Sample lyric: "Cause I want my Johnny bleeding... fuck him in the ass." Lead singer Marty Leopard appears tonight dressed as a reverend, but soon strips down to his stars and stripes boxers, leaping into the crowd for every song. The rest of the band, either outstaged or embarassed, remain still for most of the set, which focusses upon their 25 minute debut LP "The Politics Of Cruelty".

http://www.myspace.com/gayforjohnnydepp

65DAYSOFSTATIC come on stage, and to be honest, I was expecting big things. I'd heard a number of people saying how great they were live, and having only got into them fairly recently, I was hoping my lack of knowledge of the songs wouldn't let me down.

Its very easy for a review to throw away words like "Epic" and "awe-inspiring" like the poster to a Bruckheimer movie or a Daily Mail review of U2's latest, but in this case I would say its greatly justified.

Debut single and arguably their biggest song "Retreat! Retreat!" is thrown away early into the set, almost as if the band want to dissociate themselves from The Fall Of Math and focus upon One Time For All Time and The Destruction Of Small Ideas.

65DOS's set tonight within the tiny Wedgewood Rooms is massively beyond these four walls. Instrumentally, the drummer is the only one you can hear consistently (most of the absolutely crazy drumbeats are actually him, occasionally assisted by a drum machine), and the guitars frequently descend into a whirlwind of noise and atmosphere, the bass occasionally popping its head up during some of the quieter more melodic parts.

I'm afraid I haven't really got much of an idea what else they played that night, but that shouldn't be a bad thing. This is post-rock. This is 3 minutes of noise followed by a minute of quiet followed by a drum break and then 3 minutes of noise.

This is pretty fucking epic.

http://www.myspace.com/11488230

What a load of tossssss

I stumbled across this like a blind man digging for pennies in the bottom of what he thinks is a pocket of his coat, but it actually the warm slimy ear of a great dane. Or something.

Anyway I totally agree with the heartfelt sentiment expressed in this article what I read.

Set sarcasm detectors to fun.

Astronomy Metronomy

Ever since seeing them* supporting CSS in Brixton in December, no, actually, since I heard their name about a year ago but couldn't find any albums by them in HMV, I've been very curious about METRONOMY.

Via some, ahem, semi-legal means I managed to obtain a copy of their debut album (If anyone can provide me a British retailer who stocks the album let me know) Pip Paine (Pay The £5000 You Owe), and absolutely loved it. It really is an awesome album for fans of off-kilter bedroom-produced Indie-dance.

Live, the trio jerk around like Kraftwerk's robots and are occasionally joined by a female dance troupe. They also like to model B&Q light fittings that come on when you hit them.

My Heart Rate Rapid is their latest single and has all the jaunt and splendour of the drum-machined and solo produced debut album, as well as the marginally poppier sound of their previous single, Radio Ladio.

I think they are absolutely brilliant and can't wait for their next album, reportedly going by the name "Nights Out" and due for release on June 30th. They are also heavily rumoured to be playing a few festivals this summer, including Reading and Leeds.

*I say them, on record it is technically just Joseph Mount, but he is (usually) joined live by Gabriel Stebbing and Oscar Cash.
The photo is cunningly stolen from Drowned In Sound, and is credited to Erik Lande.

Post DFA1979: Sebastien Grainger

While Jesse Keeler ran away with their producer to form the house-inflected pop stylings of MSTRKRFT, who are currently working on their second album, the other half of Death From Above 1979, Sebastien Grainger, has been much more quiet.

Apart from contributing vocals to DIOYY?'s song "Let's Make Out" and drumming for Canadian rapper k-os, Grainger's presence has been much more low key.

Recently however, Grainger has been working with his own backing band "Les Montagnes" (or The Mountains, if you prefer), who explore the opposite end of DFA's dance-punk formula to Keeler's MSTRKRFT.

Currently working on their debut album, their sound is as energetic and straightforward as DFA, yet unfortunately lacking in Keeler's pounding danceable basslines. They're still pretty good though.

http://www.myspace.com/sebastiengrainger

ALBUM: Blood Red Shoes - Box Of Secrets

Having seen (and reviewed them in the previous post) them last week, I was very eager to get the album, as 40 minutes of Blood Red Shoes is about as most as the body can stand before it all starts sounding a bit more White Stripes and little less interesting.

Opening two tracks "It Doesn't Matter Much" and "You Bring Me Down" set the course out clear from the start - Blood Red Shoes don't do quiet. While they touch on melody, the focus is on rhytm, tempo and repitition. To say Blood Red Shoes are formulaic would be insulting, but unfortunately justified. Their Boy-Girl dynamic works much better than a lot of contemporaries. Both Laura-Mary and Steven are stars of the show, each bringing what the other needs.

They harmonise and back each other perfectly vocally, and Steven's drums are energetic, driving Laura-Mary's ceaseless attack of overdriven guitar noise. In a music climate where bands with two guitarists and a bass, the music can sound empty and lifeless (see: The View), BRS manage to more than compensate for the lack of two members and fill out the sound completely.

Fan (and personal) favourites "ADHD" and "It's Getting Boring By The Sea" get the re-recording treatment, at the expense of former single "Stitch Me Back", which is not featured. The production is generally superior to previous singles, with equal weighting given to both members, and Steven's frenetic drumming actually recorded properly

As I said before however, Blood Red Shoes do tend to get a little bit tiresome after 40 minutes or so, which is lucky as that is about the length of the album and its difficult to see where else they could really take their ideas, without drastically changing their sound. Don't get me wrong, it's pleasant, original up to a point and has worked for them for the last couple of years, but doesn't leave much space for new work. Even the songs that feature on this album are all cut from the same mould - so much so that changing the order of the album would be pretty futile, the songs all sound the same anyway.

It's almost unfortunate, and I'm being overly picky, as this album, as a stand-alone piece of work, is actually a fantastic listen. Its the result of years of hard touring and work for this band, and is not just a collection of previous singles and releases that some bands would be tempted to release. My only fears are whether or not Blood Red Shoes can actually go the distance.

7.5/10

Box Of Secrets is out now on V2 in the UK.

Blood Red Shoes @ Wedgewood Rooms, Portmouth, 08/04/2008

It's somewhat hard to believe that a duo so elegant as Laura-Mary and Steven can make such a decent racket.

Their bassless antics maye be simple, but as demonstrated by tonight's opening act, AN EMERGENCY, can difficult to pull off well. AE's twin guitar sound takes a whistlestop tour of American bedroom Indie Rock, taking in Sonic Youth, Les Savy Fav and everything in between. But while the lack of a four-string is just about hidden by the noise, their myspace recordings sound sparse and messy without the bass keeping it all together.

http://www.myspace.com/anemergencyxxx

Jack and George of THESE NEW PURITANS step up, neglecting to mention where their other two band members are or why they aren't here. Instead, either as an homage to tonight's headliners or that the left the other two at a Service Station on the M3, its just the brothers Barnett with George taking up the slack, negotiating the drum machine, sampler and playing bass. Whatever reason for them just being a twosome, their glitchy post-punk makes tons more sense without the full band backing it up. Despite rumours of lead singer Jack's arrogance, they play a tight set with few problems; "Numbers (AKA Numerology)" and "Elviss" are obvious highlights.

http://www.myspace.com/thesenewpuritans

A short interlude later, and the duo head onto stage. Laura-Mary, telecaster in hand, and Steven, ready at the drums, tear into a set full of energy despite both being still as statues. Former single "It's Getting Boring By The Sea" is dropped early into the set as well as the majority of the tracks from the forthcoming (yet already leaked) debut album Box Of Secrets.

While an obvious criticism is the formulaic nature of many of the songs, pretty much all of them step up to the plate and just plain fucking rock. "I Wish That I Was Someone Better" has all the pop-hooks, but they've made old cliches new and full of life, with half the crowd screaming the self-deprecating chorus back at them.

What is interesting, is that despite Blood Red Shoes impressive Indie pedigree - having played well over 300 shows and bounced around independent labels for a good couple of years, but they are still relatively unknown and still appear to be having good fun at what they are doing. Steven jokes with the crowd and Laura-Mary demurely grins into the microphone, occasionally shuffling closer to the crowd, eager to enjoy their well-deserved praise.

Past the 40 minute mark, however, patience is wearing thin. The songs begin to melt into one another, and while those at the front are still as enthralled as ever, the rest of the crowd are not quite as interested anymore. Just how far Blood Red Shoes can take their brand of noise remains to be seen - their album Box Of Secrets is to be released on Monday - but tonight they dissapear offstage for mere seconds before an encore that ends with the explosive "ADHD".

Their music may be simple, lyrics perhaps contrived, but it is anything but Indie-by-numbers, and thats whats important.

ALBUM: Foals - Antidotes

After the brass band intro to "The French Open", its pretty much business as usual for the Oxford quintet. Most recent single "Cassius" follows next, beginning a group of songs both old and new. Which begs the question, why isn't "Hummer" on this?

Foals' math-rock leanings and guitars that never seem to slip below the 7th fret worked well on a number of singles to date. However the aforementioned "Hummer", possibly their most well known song thanks to a certain Skins, and "Mathletics", their second single, do not feature apart from on the special edition bonus disc. Which seems a bit silly. Especially as they would be the best tracks.

However, that isn't to say that whats left isn't any good. Forthcoming single "Red Socks Pugie" starts off like Battles with clean vocals and soon continues in a much poppier vein. "Olympic Airways" starts with the same Battles-esque avant-garde guitar shapes that eventually come together later on, as if guitarists Yannis and Jack want to introduce everyone to all the notes they'll be using in that song.

It seems as if Foals are some sort of "gateway" band, channelling the spirits of their math-rock heroes (Wikipedia says Yannis' favourite band are cult math-rock outfit Sweep The Leg Jonny) and making the music poppy and accessible.

To a point.

There's not really a bad track on the album, but it gets to a stage where the formula, which appears so complex at first sight, becomes so easy you could probably predict the next instrument to enter the fray, the point where the chorus will drop in, when that quiet bit they always have in the middle is going to end or which note the guitars will choose to repeat over and over next. Some would say this is a good position to be in, but I disagree. Although admittedly the end results of each song is of similar quality - they're all pretty good - the album suffers.

"Balloons" and "Two Steps Twice" stand out for me, but only because I remember hearing them live. They are probably the most danceable on the album, but every other track sounds like them. "Electric Broom" and closer "Tron" are a happy experiment with synth noise, but still with the same Foals cliches.

Ultimately Foals have made an album that they wanted to make. On one hand I respect them for that, they haven't churned out some filler nor have they stuck their biggest tracks in the album just because. On the other hand, the album doesn't flow particularly well either, and the tracks that have made it on can't really replace those that were sacrificed.

If you do get a copy of this album, make sure you get the bonus disc, which not only include Hummer and Mathletics, but an early Foals set from The Liars Club in Nottingham and a couple of B-sides.

7/10

Antidotes is out now via Transgressive in the UK on April 8th via Sub Pop in the USA.

Reading/Leeds Festival Line-up reaction (NME/RADIO ONE STAGE)

READING FRIDAY/LEEDS SATURDAY
NME/RADIO 1 STAGE
BABYSHAMBLES
Young scallywag Peter Doherty returns to Reading once again with the rest of Babyshambles. While some say he is a tragic genius, and others say he is a scrounging waster, their show will be interesting. Probably.

THE WOMBATS
While the only of their songs that I ever listened to and vaguely enjoyed was "Let's Dance To Joy Division", I was surprised to learn that they had previous released an album in Japan. Weird. I'll be on the main stage.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND
The latest in a long line of New York hype bands and the booking that will arguably fill out the NME tent.
Can't Wait To Hear: Walcott

MGMT
The duo bring their spaced-out stylings to Reading for the first time, and will hopefully be as electrifying as they have been on TV.
Can't Wait To Hear: Time To Pretend

READING SATURDAY/LEEDS SUNDAY
NME/RADIO 1 STAGE
MANIC STREET PREACHERS
They may be past it even more than U2 and REM combined, but the majority of their set is well worth the headlining set they've earned, even if its in the tent rather than on the main stage.
Can't Wait To Hear: If You Tolerate This...

BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE
BFMV tour their new album Scream Aim Fire. Yes.

JUSTICE
French electro house duo try out their best Daft Punk impression in the NME tent. Let's hope they're a bit more spectacular than when I saw them, but a festival crowd may yet be more favourable for them.

FOALS
Having done the now typical "release-an-album in march then play Brixton in October" that has been exemplified in recent years by We Are Scientists, Kaiser Chiefs and Klaxons, its not a shock either for them to have been pushed up to the NME stage after their electrifying set on the Carling Stage last year. While they arguably won't be as big as Klaxons, the early signs are promising and it may well end up being one of those albums that hangs around in the top 20 for a while.
Can't Wait To Hear: Mathletics

READING SUNDAY/LEEDS FRIDAY
NME/RADIO 1 STAGE
THE CRIBS
I have to say I've never really seen the appeal of the brothers Jarman and although their songs aren't unlistenable, and possibly even preferable to Metallica, I both don't know enough and don't want to know enough to make a judgement.

CONOR OBERST
Okay, this is a bit weird. Conor Oberst, who I always assumed was the only "real" member of Bright Eyes, is playing a solo set under his own name, with Rilo Kiley's drummer, amongst others. But Wikipedia tells me that Bright Eyes was always a group project. Either way, he'll probably chuck in a couple of Bright Eyes tracks anyway.

PENDULUM
When they first appeared, they were frequently referred to as being "the new Prodigy", probably by those who thought their remix of Voodoo People was an original song. To be honest, past Slam I'm not that familiar with anything of theirs, past the fact that people always seem to want to request some when they don't like a DJ at a club.

More bands announced soon...

Reading/Leeds Festival Line-up reaction (MAIN STAGE SATURDAY/SUNDAY)

Friday's line-up
Part 2:
SATURDAY READING/SUNDAY LEEDS
THE KILLERS
Since their, from my point of view, unspectacular headlining set at Glastonbury last year, it was almost inevitable that they would eventually headline Reading and Leeds. It would seem they've joined the exclusive set occupied by, among others Muse, Foo Fighters and The White Stripes that means they'll all headline a major UK Festival at some point through the years. Barring no one awesome on the Radio 1 Introducing... stage, I'll probably be at the Manics.

BLOC PARTY
Moving exactly one spot closer to that elusive headlining slot on the same day as last year despite only releasing their now traditional trans-album single "Flux" since then. Even though it's probably better than most of A Weekend In The City, the crowd will be massive. I may be elsewhere.

THE RACONTEURS
Two years and one album ago, the Detroit supergroup headlined the NME stage when Muse were on which must be the largest Indiephile clash since Peter Doherty and Carl Barat turned up to the pub wearing the same outfit. I've been a bit slow on getting the new album, but the the material from Broken Boy Soldiers should be good enough for me.
Can't Wait To Hear: Store Bought Bones. Again

EDITORS
"Hey, we couldn't do as good an impression of Joy Division as Interpol, so do you mind if we play some Snow Patrol B-sides?"

WE ARE SCIENTISTS
A welcome return to these guys, now a drummer short, but making their first appearance on the main stage at Reading with a new sound somewhere between traditional British Indie and Duran Duran. While the new album hasn't made such an impression on me yet, their live shows are always great fun and I look forward to seeing them for a fourth (?) time.
Can't Wait To Hear: After Hours

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS
Slipping down the line-up to sixth (but still out of the tent and away from all the Babyshambles fans - I know, some people really like them, don't ask me.) but should be playing some new material from their second album This Is Where The Truth Begins, due for release shortly after the festival.

THE SUBWAYS
Playing Reading for the fourth time in five years, the trio from the mean streets of Welwyn Garden City will play tracks from their upcoming album All Or Nothing. Despite the ironic truth of the album title, The Subways do attract a modest following and have a fairly respectable live reputation. I used to be a fan, but I'll probably be elsewhere when they grace the main stage.

READING SUNDAY/LEEDS FRIDAY (THE "METAL" DAY)
MAIN STAGE
METALLICA
They may be so metal it's 6/10 of their name, but I've never really been bothered by much of their stuff except the odd track hear and there. One of those bands I could never see myself making the effort to listen to because A) I'm not hairy enough and B) I don't know enough about computers.

TENACIOUS D
Hey Jack Black, you used to be cool, what happened? Ok, Tenacious aren't that bad and the songs are pretty funny, but should they really be 2nd headliners?

SLIPKNOT
Hey remember when everyone went through that phase of listening to Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory and Slipknot's Iowa while wearing their hoody with the big S on the back? Well those eight guys with the jumpsuits and back with a new album and returning to Reading for the first time in six years, since their apparently blistering performance in 2002.

FEEDER
Some would say this is a strange choice for the "metal day", as I did at first, but they headlined Download a couple of years ago, and are one of the few bands to have relative crossover success as both a Rock and an Indie act. Plus while their last album was "more mature" - code for "a bit boring" - their older albums have a much heavier sound, especially Swim and Polythene, which they occasionally like to dig out for the festival fans. They are Reading veterans, and usually get a big crowd.
Can't Wait To Hear: Lost & Found

AVENGED SEVENFOLD
I don't know a lot about the band some refer to as "A7X", just that those kids who wear their hoodys today tend to be the same sorts who wore the Slipknot hoodies when I was still in school.

DROPKICK MURPHYS
An ever-popular Reading band, these Celtic punks are playing for the first time since 2005, when the entire Arena was filled with the sound of punked-up bagpipes played to within an inch of their lives. Ska music for the bigger lads whose blood type is Jack Daniels.

I should probably stress at this point that this is not necessarily the running order on the day, and that more acts are due to be announced.

Reading/Leeds Festival Line-up reaction (MAIN STAGE FRIDAY)

I got my ticket for this year's festival in the earlybird sale after last year's festival. 2008 will be my fourth Reading Festival. Now I'm going to go through the line-up and speculate what bands I might see. Purely for my benefit, really.

FRIDAY READING/SATURDAY LEEDS
MAIN STAGE:
RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
-Oh dear god yes, I've been hoping for this since their announcement for Coachella last year. I was one of those people who only got into them after they split up, and was having an interesting conversation with someone who had seen them before and was wondering if they are still as good as they were. if the footage on Youtube is anything to go by, they haven't lost it yet. Quite possibly looking to be my band of the weekend, and I've not even gone yet. But that's bias for you.
Can't Wait to Hear: "Freedom"

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE
I've seen them a couple of times before, and they are one of those bands whose live sound is so tight and skillful, despite the line-up changing every time Josh Homme gets his hair cut. I'm looking forward to hearing the stuff from Era Vulgaris, but their best song live has always been No One Knows. (Performed at 2005's festival here)
Can't Wait to Hear: "Sick, Sick, Sick"

THE FRATELLIS
I think this was one of the early bookings, made when people still remember this band. It's 2008 now, and everyone's (unfortunately) still talking about...

THE ENEMY
The baton has been passed and "This year's Fratellis", hopefully short of their decimation of a Bowie classic, are fourth down the list on the main stage moving up from halfway through the NME Stage last year. They will attract a big crowd, although are up against the duo of hype bands MGMT and Vampire Weekend on the NME stage.

BIFFY CLYRO
Just like Steven Gerrard for England, Biffy are always one of the first names on the teamsheet for the big game, and 2008 is no exception. They were at 3 of the 4 last festivals plus many before, yet somehow I've always managed to miss them. Although the new album is not quite to my taste, its worth seeing them for "Joy.Discovery.Invention".
Can't Wait to Hear: Anything from Blackened Sky, except "Christopher's River", obviously.

SERJ TANKIAN
System Of A Down's joint-frontman Serj, continues his solo world jaunt with a stop at Reading and Leeds. I saw him supporting Foo Fighters at the O2 and although I've never been a SOAD fan, his set was fun, if all a bit too much like his main band.

DIZZEE RASCAL
Returning after playing before Primal Scream on the NME Stage in 2006, Dizzee returns with some new material from his upcoming untitled album.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY
I'm alright, thanks.

GET CAPE, WEAR CAPE, FLY
I've not heard much, but I didn't like what I'd heard. Plus I've been told bad things about the new album.

ANTI-FLAG
Legendary modern day punk outfit anti-flag, complete with frontman Justin Sane, prop up the Main Stage bill, and will probably be playing yet another face-shattering set in the Lock-Up Tent, much as Jimmy Eat World did last year.