TOP 5: Songs shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds

Let's face it, most indie rock bands are comprised of stoned ADD sufferers with no attention span. When you combine this with the fact that they're paid to dick around with free instruments for months at a time, it's no surprise that there is a surfeit of sub-1:30 songs. The majority of them are fairly useless. I'm pretty certain Modest Mouse's career would remain enriched and respected if "Horn Intro" was removed from their canon, and the world wasn't crying out for "A Conjunction of Drones Simulating the Way in Which Sufjan Stevens Has an Existential Crisis in the Great Godfrey Maze" (0:19, that one). However, a talented tenth are able to create an excellent whole from a small amount of seconds, and here they are saluted. Top 5 time!

5. "Sweet Road" - Animal Collective (1:16)

An experiment - find your most hardcore anti-capitalist rage-against-the-machine friend and mention that this was recently used in a Crayola commercial. Whilst they fume, lock him/her in a room with some crayons, and play this jam. On repeat. The song is so dementedly, twitteringly fun, simple in its duel-acoustic arrangement yet littered with little yelps, giggles and charmingly infantile asides. By time you let him leave, the room's walls will look like the ones in the advert, and he'll have eaten the crayons.

Here's the ad: Link

Found on Sung Tongs

4. "Fortress" – The Fall (1:21)

One of The Fall’s many knacks is the knack for incredibly brief songs which put you into a state of confusion. If “Prole Art Threat” is like being led through a military bunker in a hail of gunshots and emergency radio broadcasts, and their cover of “Jingle Bell Rock” is Oxford Street on Christmas Eve, then this is something else entirely. The intro riff rings an introduction, then lowers and pummels you, as Mark E. Smith rounds on “left-wing kids”, “boiled beef and carrots” and makes an obscene suggestion about Jimmy Saville. Afterwards, you’ll be bruised, but happily so.

Found on Hip Priests and Kamerads

3. "Car Radio" – Spoon (1:30)

This song is cooooool. It’s the audio equivalent of walking down the street like Peter Parker in Spiderman 3 going to the jazz club (but much, much less lame). Picture it, you’re giving the double-point to the chicks with every slashed guitar chord. You are the “voice of authority from here into Empire State”. By time the “ma-ma-ma”s start, you may have even broken into a strut. That’s what this song does to a man (or maybe just me).

Found on A Series Of Sneaks

2. "A Good Flying Bird" - Guided By Voices (1:08)

GBV's back-catalogue is littered with sub-1:30 songs - especially the much acclaimed "Alien Lanes" (which comes with the highest recommendation on my part). They're all really fantastic, but many eliminate themselves from this list (with it's oh so stringent guidelines). "A Salty Salute" is waaaay over it's 1:29 in spirit, mentally it roars for ages out of the doors of the bars it heralds, being screamed by drunks and alcoholics alike (check this out!: Youtube.) "Big Chief Chinese Restaurant" is tantalisingly short, "Game of Pricks" just two seconds too long. In the end, "A Good Flying Bird" (written and sung not by Bob Pollard but the improbably named Tobin Sprout) isn't the best short track on "Alien Lanes", but it's the best short song. And it really is a smash, forcibly uplifting you with it's racecar pace, Replacements-esque 'fuck you, we were young' lyrics and a lovely twist in it's chord structure in the "fools and kings decide..." part. Perhaps its exuberance can be summed up by the simple chorus: "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeaaah!"

Found on Alien Lanes

1. "Allison" – Pixies (1:18)

Youtube

People crow on about "Here Comes Your Man", but in my book this one, taken from the underrated "Bossanova", is really the bellwether of Frank Black and co's pop side. There's not much point in ranting on about the genius of this song, except to mention the guitar sound, the energy, the fact that it makes one want to pump one's fist unironically. If it had handclaps it would be everything a short pop song should be. One final thought: at the start of this song, Frank Black mumbles that it's about "Mose Allison" (a jazz singer). I managed to hear that as "Mos Eisley" - pretty stupid, but quite apt - this song is just as spacey and awesome as hanging out in the Cantina would be. Honestly, right guys! Guys?!

Found on Bossanova

Just so this article doesn't end on that nerdy Star Wars note, here's a bonus...

BONUS SONG: "You Suffer" - Napalm Death (1.316 seconds)

Youtube

This costs 79p on iTunes.

Andrew Barnes